On A Somber Note

January 2, 2026

Usually, at this time of year, I treat myself to a wonderful downtime session. The Earth is in its own downtime, so it's a perfect time to be in sync with what's going on outside my window.  

This year is a little different.  Right before Christmas, I got a call that my sister was in bad shape, not doing well, and was most likely very close to death.  But she had hung on way too long.  She and I had parted ways a year ago because of drugs and alcohol.  I didn't know if I was talking to the drugs/alcohol or my sister, so I had to pull away not only for her good, but for mine.  I couldn't hear the words coming out of her that I knew weren't hers, filled with anger and hate.  But I couldn't reason with her either.  It was a hard time because I also had to pull her out of my heart.  

I cried and went through mourning then.  Suddenly, receiving this call was a complete shock.  She had an awful autumn, and her health was so fragile that she was rapidly encompassed by disease and degeneration of her body, yet she had held on for weeks without giving in.  Her family finally called me and asked if there was anything I wanted to say to her.  She was "non-responsive," but I know enough about non-responsive conditions, particularly right before death, that the hearing is the last sense to go, and many times people hear, when they can't do anything else.  

This was a chance for me to talk to her w/o the alcohol and drugs. She hardly looked like herself in bed.  More like some horrid creature out of a Hieronymus Bosch painting.  But she did turn towards me when I started talking with her.  I felt so sorry for her, even though I knew she was loaded with painkillers; she looked like she had suffered horribly.  I could see it in the expression on her face.  

After I talked, I went over to be with her son and husband, and we chatted for a while, and I told them I was leaving and that we should all leave cause that way she could die in private.  

I left, and her daughter called me in a short time and told me that she had passed.  After watching my parents suffer and seeing them pass, and now my youngest sister, it's a blessing, as their bodies have been so corrupted by disease that they need to release it and pass on through another door.  That's where she was when I came to visit, and I was glad to hear she's no longer suffering. 


It's amazing how what may seem like small things become huge to another person.  We hadn't talked in over a year, and yet the minute I told her, "Hey Laura, it's Claire.  We are good, and don't worry about the past," she sensed a bit of relief.   I honestly was shocked that it would have that much effect. 

We forget that even when we aren't watching, others are watching.  Maybe it's the grandchild visiting grandmother across the street, looking out the window to see you doing something right when no one is looking or staying with someone when it's easier to leave.  Perhaps it's you talking with a friend while another is listening in.  The tone and manner are as much a part of the communication as the words.  

I can remember in my own life, people who had a remarkable effect on me, even though it was a tiny little snippet of time; the effect was monumental. 

I'm in a contemplative mood these days, wondering if there was anything I could have done to hasten the absence of addictions in my sister.  But she had suffered for years with back pain, and she may not have even had a chance after she had turned to drugs and alcohol, to survive to a point where she could be coherent without the alcohol.   I miss that lovely person who rescued me and who I rescued when we were growing up.  

Here are some of my favorite shots through the years.  

Dad, my sister and me.  She had fallen off a horse and I actually made that top I'm in.  Notice the little vents?  This was my take on the classic Austrian Geiger Jacket, which Mme. Chanel used as her base for her famous quilted jacket!

In our matching Easter outfits that were made for us by a lovely little lady in the small town I grew up in.

In the hot summertime, trying to stay out of trouble while palling around.

We were so cool, or rather warm, in our new coats!  

It wouldn't surprise me to learn that we had been told not to dive off the board, unless parents were nearby.  I'm obviously toying with a little "test dive" while my sister is looking on.  

My father had 4 older sisters and the oldest was a grande dame of theater.  We were discussing fashion no doubt with my sister looking on.  The older sisters were known as the "glam aunts."  There wasn't anything they couldn't do, and they were beyond stylish and fabulously adventurous.  

The ever-familiar first day of school photos.  I was obviously horribly overdressed, but I felt cool in my fashionable yellow!  

In the kitchen, checking in on dinner prep, but our expressions tell me we were up to some sort of chicanery!

Here we are trying to be as stylish as our "glam aunts" and hopefully succeeding.  Those sleeves were so "right-on" at the time!  

This was after a long weekend respite from school, probably when we were home for a quick Thanksgiving holiday from college.  We were such babes - or at least we thought we were!  

For a short time, I had moved into a home with a swimming pool while my home was being remodeled.  My sister always brought the kids over to swim (and wear them out), then we would feed them, and they would obligingly fall asleep while my sister and her husband gently packed them in the car and took them home to snooze all night.  The point was to wear them out so they could have a ton of fun during the summer swimming.  Dad was there, this was probably Father's Day one year.

We had these lovely ladies help us take care of our mother and father.  They saw us through everything, and we all became very close while they died.  Fortunately, I was able to grab them after the funeral for a quick shot, which was very nice, but then we got this photo after of us all taking a well-needed laugh with each other.  We had just gone through a year of ill-health with our family and were glad we had survived and done everything we could to feel proud of what we had done.

And of course I made that suit out of beautiful raw silk, and still have it today and wear it when I need something quiet quality.  

Thanks for reading.  The nice thing about saying goodbye is that she wasn't in pain, barely conscious, if at all. Still, I got to tell her that I wasn't mad.  Now that she's not on any drugs or booze, she could listen and understand as one of her last experiences here on this Earth.  She's in a beautiful, loving environment that we can only slightly perceive in our little pea-sized brains, and at peace.

The best we humans can hope for on this planet is to live a life that somehow benefits others.  Whether that's talking with friends while others are listening, or talking to a group, or just crossing a street.  We do not know how our very existence can affect another's life, and if it's positively, then we have lived a great life.  That's all it takes.  Sometimes, that means we can affect many lives.  Sometimes it's just one.  Sometimes it's a small act or word that makes another think twice and affects them positively.  No matter how small or how big.  It's the same positive effect. 

At the same time, take care of yourself, no matter where you are in your life.  This year, the meditation I do from Christmas Eve to Epiphany will mean even more, knowing I have two close people gone for now, but always in my heart.   

Have a wonderful Christmas Season!

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NOTE:  There are some folks who can't get my email, or it's sporadic, or something is hinky.  I will always respond to any of you who send a private message, whether it's about the topic of the week or something else.  If you don't get anything from me, it's probably because the support@sewingartistry.com email is blocked, and even a private message can't get through.  In that case, I'm on Instagram often, and you can always PM me at @sewingartistry.  

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